Monday, April 11, 2011

Border Control: Alien Entry

I recently drove across the USA/Canada border with my father and a friend of mine. We were planning to do some shopping since the CAD was so strong. Below was the transcript of the conversation I had with the American border agent:

me: Hello sir!
ABA: ...
(I hand our passports to him)
ABA: Where are you guys from?
me: Vancouver.
ABA: And where are you guys going?
(I almost said USA in a rush)
me: Seattle mostly.
ABA: What is the purpose of your guy's trip?
me: Touring and shopping.
ABA: Why Seattle?
me: Because it's the closest metro American city.
ABA: Why do you want to go to a big American city?
me: ...
ABA: Why do you want to come to my country?
me: ...
(Now I am glad I didn't blurt out USA when he asked me where I was going. That would have resulted in me getting a very thorough check in the interrogation room)
me: ...
ABA: Who's that guy behind there? (he was referring to the back passenger seat)
me: My father
ABA: Daddy bringing you on a shopping trip?
me: ...
(Well... I was bringing daddy on a shopping trip since he never drove down the USA before. But I didn't want the clarify this)
(He hands our passports back and waves us off)
me: What a jerk!
friend: He was probably a little racist.

I had never thought in my life that I would hear "Why do you want to come to my country?" from an American. Maybe because the USA is so f**king awesome people want to come? Honestly I was really about to say that but the sober chamber was telling me not to. And it was probably a good idea. But Come on! We're Canadians. Let's get with the 2011 program here. America's great because they are the most ethnically diverse country in the world. Geez, isn't Obama black?

Lesson upon entering America:
-If you can afford it. Never fly coach!
-Don't drive to Seattle. Fly to Seattle! (Then again, they'll ask why don't you drive instead)
-Bring money!

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